


Aeternum Magicae

by dankalloy



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alcohol, Angst, F/M, Fluff, M/M, Mentions of Harry - Freeform, NSFW eventually, Swearing, Underage Drinking, jily, lots of fluff, there are going to be so many puns oh my god prepare yourselves, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-17
Updated: 2018-05-01
Packaged: 2019-03-20 04:31:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 5
Words: 15,903
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13709874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dankalloy/pseuds/dankalloy
Summary: After graduating from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardy, the Mauraders struggle to balance romance, new jobs, old rivalries, and the ever-present war around them. Remus is torn between his love for Sirius and his fear of DESTROYING (; him.





	1. The End of an Era

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for taking the time to read this! I really hope you like it!

     Diffused sunlight stained Hogwarts’ Great Hall crimson, touching the faces of students and teachers alike and giving them an ethereal glow. They looked both sinister and wise, the lot of them standing with solemnity and purpose in the setting sun’s light. Hot as though the late June’s day had been, the sinking sun no longer warmed the Earth; several students pulled their cloaks tighter around their shoulders, shivering in response to either the aura of magic or to the cold--but quite possibly both.

     A dark hand reached up to tousle even darker, messy hair near the front of the room; a red-headed girl grabbed it with her own and smiled playfully at its owner, eyes shining radiantly. Beside them, a taller boy with sandy hair tugged on his shirt absent-mindedly, grinning at this exchange. His eyes periodically slid to a devastatingly handsome boy with long, gleaming hair; the expression on his face was unthinkingly haughty, but he smiled slightly when the other looked at him. Their hands rested beside each other, not quite touching. Though held loosely, hidden tension was making both wrists ache.

 

     “Sirius Orion Black,” read out a rather intimidating witch from the front of the room, a long piece of parchment trailing at her feet.

 

      The long-haired boy shook back his glistening locks and, with an excited glance back at his group of friends, made his final journey to the front of the Great Hall.

 

     A small boy gasped, his watery eyes wetter than usual. He stood uncomfortably close to the sandy-haired one, who did not step away, despite being all but clung to, as if the smaller was afraid of getting lost in the unmoving crowd.

 

     Sirius reached the front amid hearty whoops and clapping. He dipped his head at the witch in front of him, who actually smiled.

 

     “Thank you, Professor McGonagall,” he said sincerely, accepting the sealed letter she handed him, marked with the ancient school’s crest of arms. “I hate to say it, but I will miss Hogwarts. Stay sweet.”

 

     Her apathetic expression did not change, but her eyes did roll good-naturedly. She shook out her parchment and read the next name.

 

     When “Lily Jean Evans” was called, the gingery mane made its way up to the front. Lily shook Professor McGonagall’s hand, then gave up pretense and pulled her into a hug, which was gently returned.

 

     The rest of the students filtered up slowly, each receiving a wax-sealed letter. Professor McGonagall had a polite smile for everybody and words for a few, said low enough to only reach the intended ears.

 

     Once a letter resided in each student’s hand, the low chattering that had filled the Hall died; Professor McGonagall lifted her wand, and there was a flurry as everybody else followed suit.

 

     “Thank you for allowing us--” she gestured toward the staff table, where many moist eyes were hastily dried, “--to oversee your education. You’ve already heard your Headmaster speak; I will hold you no longer. We all wish the very best of luck to every one of you. May all of your practices make us proud.”

 

      As one, the young witches and wizards brought their wands down upon their letter, breaking open the seal.

 

     Most people pulled out the contained parchment, scanning quickly over it; Lily glanced at the tall man to her side and exclaimed, “Seven N.E.W.T.S., Remus?”

 

     He stuffed his letter back into its envelope hastily, turning red; Sirius barked with laughter. The five of them allowed the now-moving crowd to carry them out the great doors; they walked along the darkening grounds as one for the last time. Everybody grew quiet, the crowd much more silent than one that size should be; Remus glanced down at his tiny friend and briefly clasped a hand to his shoulder.

 

     “Don’t worry, Peter,” he said gently. “We’re all the best of mates. Leaving Hogwarts doesn’t change that one bit.”

 

     Avoiding Remus’ eyes, Peter slowly nodded. Perhaps it had been the use of his birth name, replaced so often by ‘Wormtail’ over the years he sometimes forgot it, or perhaps it was the others’ gentle nods--or maybe it was neither and simply trust in Remus that made him relax and say, “I know.”

 

     They walked towards the lake’s edge, where many boats were bobbing in the water--the same vessels they’d arrived in their first year.

 

     “Peter, why don’t you ride with me?” Lily put an arm around his shoulders and whisked him to a nearby boat before he could protest.

 

     Sirius bumped James’ shoulder with his own. “I suppose that mean Wormtail’s taking Lily’s hand, eh?”

 

     He grinned at him, rolling his eyes and ruffling his hair automatically. “Good thing I’ve still got other options...right, Padfoot?”

 

     “Well, you’ve got the ring at the ready. Moony can be best man.” Sirius winked at him.

 

     Remus gave them a long-suffering sigh. “Only if I can pick your colors. I can’t have Sirius’ big day clash, and I don’t trust either of your senses of style.”

 

     “That’s the spirit!” James held out a fist. Remus bumped it wearily with his own, grinning nonetheless. He shuffled his feet a bit, then said,

 

     “Well, we can’t all three fit in one. We’re quite larger than we were seven years ago. We would drown.”

 

     “Yeah, I’ve heard they’ve put in a giant squid. I don’t fancy a tangle with one, even if it is a baby.” James’ tone was serious, but his eyes were squinting, a familiar expression meaning he was holding back a grin.

 

     “I don’t know, I reckon you’d be able to take one. Have you ever heard of a baby winning any battles? Besides, you wouldn’t even need to swim; your big head would keep you afloat.”

 

     Sirius dodged James’ good-natured punch, laughing. Remus watched him fondly, then said, “I suppose I’m off to find somebody, then.” He turned away.

 

     “Ah, Moony, don’t worry about it. I’m curious to see if they’ll let me have one of my own...or if they’ll notice, for that matter.” James took off, casting back a furtive look at Sirius.

 

     Remus shrugged and turned to Sirius. “D’you reckon we should find ourselves one, then?”

 

     He nodded, his silky black falling into his face as he stepped over the nearest boat’s lip. Remus tried to not watch as his robes pressed against his lean body, but he was fighting a lost battle. He clambered in after him, settling in a bit too close for comfort. His stomach clenched as his pants tightened a bit.

 

     Curious, he looked around to Lily to see how she felt being so close to Peter, but they were much smaller than Sirius and himself, therefore fitting quite comfortably.

 

     Everybody finally in their boats, including, Remus noted with amusement, James, stretching out on his back to occupy the entire boat, hands grasped backwards over the lip, they started across the vast, black water. The moon had not yet risen. Though Remus knew, without having to think about it, that tonight’s moon would be in its last quarter and that he was relatively safe, the darkening sky filled him with a sense of dread. It brought to the front of his mind problems he did not want to consider, but had to now, leaving the protection of Albus Dumbledore…. He mentally shook himself and instead focused on how the fading light touched Sirius’ face and made his sharp cheekbones soft and less foreboding. His hand ached with the longing to brush his cheek, but he held himself back. The sun had sunk behind the mountains, and the temperature was steadily becoming colder. It made for a peaceful but simultaneously mournful atmosphere.

 

     In the distance, Remus could see his willow, its branches waving softly, though there was no breeze. Had Sirius not been there, he would have waved his own hand in goodbye, but instead he settled for a slight nod. As always, the small but sturdy tree sent a pang through him, set him immediately to thinking about the awful night he’d almost killed Sev--

 

     “It’s a bit pointless, wouldn’t you say?” Sirius’ tone was casual and he met Remus’ startled eyes calmly. If Remus hadn’t known him so well, he would have thought he was bored--yet, beneath the cool exterior, Remus saw intensive heat building. It distracted him; he understood, and was grateful.

 

      “Er...what’s pointless?”

 

      “You know, sailing to the train when we could just Apparate there.”

 

     Remus shrugged. “Not everyone can do it; Wormtail still hasn’t passed his test. Besides, it’s symbolic; water as a cleansing tool is used everywhere from Whi--”

 

     “Moony, we _just_ graduated. No more learning for awhile, okay?”

 

     He grinned, leaning back. “Alright, have it your way. I’ll give you two weeks, but then I expect a full twelve inches on the symbolism and importance of this tradition.”

 

     “Oh, I’ll give you twelve inches,” Sirius growled, so low Remus could hardly hear it, even with his improved hearing.

 

     Remus flushed red, grateful at once for the still-darkening sky. He could not think of how to verify if he had heard him right, and did not trust his own voice in any case. Instead, he dipped his hand into the lake, looking down at it in order to hide his face from Sirius.

 

     He let the silence stretch between them, enjoying the feeling of the cold water. After his hand was numb, he said hesitantly, “Hey, Pads?”

 

     Sirius straightened subconsciously at the change in his tone. “What’s up, Moony?”

 

     “I...I don’t know if I should stick around you, now that we’ve graduated.”

 

     Sirius’ expression hardened, silvery eyes turning to cold flint.

 

     “I’ve told you. You aren’t leaving m--us.”

 

     Remus extracted his hand, shaking it slightly to dry it. He entwined his fingers together, looking at his feet, and said, “I’m dangerous.”

 

     “And I’m a hippogriff. You are not a danger to me, Remus.”

 

     He glanced up at his name. Sirius’ eyes bored into his own, full of intensity and stubbornness and something else, something that made Remus’ thighs tighten, but thinking about that made this even harder--

 

     “But I’m dangerous to others! I can’t have flatmates, I can’t even have _neighbors_ , I--”

 

    “Remus.” Sirius leaned forward, grasping his hands around Remus’. He gently touched his forehead with his own, his black hair falling across Remus’ eyes. His hands were warm and reassuring, and Remus hated himself for craving the contact. “Moony. You don’t need to worry about this. I was waiting until we were sure to tell you, but...one of Dumbledore’s contacts has been experimenting and he thinks he’s discovered...well, not a cure, you’ll still transform, but...a help. You keep your head.”

 

     His eyes danced back and forth between Sirius’, as though to catch either one of them lying to him. Heavy bags still sat beneath his hazel eyes, a remnant of the last moon cycle.

 

     “It’s still in the very early testing stages, but it looks hopeful. In the meantime, I’ve--”

 

     But Remus dropped his head into his hands again, wrenching them from Sirius’ grasp.

 

     “I’m sick of being a burden to everybody around me.”

 

     “What are you talking about?! You are _not_ a burden, Remus John Lupin. You’re--”

 

     The ship’s edge slid onto sand, and the grating noise cut him off. Remus made to stand up, slipping as the boat rocked beneath his shifting weight. Sirius grasped his hands again, more firmly than before, as Remus fell the few inches back onto his seat.

 

     “This conversation is not over,” he promised. “I want you to stick around.”

 

     “I’d love to, but I’m worried about killing you.”

 

     “You are so melodramatic, Moony. I’d almost say you’re worse than I am. Come on, let’s go to the train; I can see Prongs up there.”

 

     The two made their way toward the dark figure, who was bouncing excitedly. As soon as they reached him, he started going into detail about how he _swore_ he’d seen a Quaffle-sized eye looking up at him, how he’d waved and a tentacle had pushed him along (“How else could I have gotten here before you did? I left the shore later!”). Sirius was laughing, telling him to come off it. Remus accepted this distraction readily, relieved he had a few hours to recoup before Sirius attacked him with reality again. It hurt him to deny Sirius anything, but he couldn’t imagine if something happened, if he hurt Sirius, if he had to live in a world without him….

 

      Lily and Peter caught up to them and the five began walking towards the steaming scarlet engine.

 

     They found an empty compartment and settled down, James automatically lying his head in Lily’s lap; she smiled lovingly and started playing with his messy hair. Remus sat by Peter, staring out the window to avoid Sirius’ occasional, pointed stare. He watched as Hogsmeade Village sped by--The Three Broomsticks, where he had his first drink third year and realized that he had a crush on Sirius--he thought he saw the vague outline of the shack, his prison the villagers now avoided--the buildings were gone now, the pointed black towers of the castle all that was left to see--

 

     He watched until there was nothing but countryside, until it was dark enough that only his reflection was visible. He’d never liked seeing himself, pale and sickly, with his lips permanently turned down. He turned from the window, looking automatically to Sirius, who returned his gaze with a surprisingly soft one. He grinned at him nervously and again leaned back, opening a book instead of joining in their conversation about the planned graduation party, and settled in for a long ride.

  



	2. The Bottom of the Bottle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A graduation party is coming up. Remus is hesitant about the social aspect, as well as the damage that will undoubtedly be done to his canine ears. What will happen under the influence of alcohol and low lights?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: alcohol and alcohol-induced sex, and violence.

    “Come on, Moony! It’ll be fun! We’re only going to graduate once in our lives.”

 

    Remus gave Sirius a glare that would have made a sphinx back down, but his grasp on his arm did not loosen.

 

    “Please, I want you to be there.” Sirius pouted up at him, still holding onto his arm to prevent him turning away. “I don’t want to go if you don’t.”

 

    “Alright. Don’t go. I want to read.”

 

    Sirius groaned and sunk onto the couch, throwing an arm across his face. “I don’t think Prongs would appreciate us staying here on the first night he and Lils get the house. We can ditch and have a party of our own if you get bored.” He glanced up at Remus, standing above him with a torn expression.

 

    “Well, unfortunately, I’m already bored of the party. Look, I don’t want to be around people we’ve just escaped. I also don’t want Snape and Prongs to get into a row. We’re adults now, we’ve got to be careful--”

 

    “Prongs and...who, exactly?” Sirius cocked his head to the side, his lips slightly open. “I’m not sure I know anybody by that name.”

 

    “You bloody prat. You know who I mean.” Sirius raised his eyebrow, lifting the same shoulder while staring expectantly at Remus, who rolled his eyes and pulled his brows together slightly. “Fine...Snivellus, if you must.”

 

    “Oh, trust me, filth like him aren’t invited to this thing,” Sirius barked. “Please. Just come for an hour. There will be firewhiskey, and you might even meet a girl or two.”

 

    Remus flushed. “Sirius, I don’t--”

 

    “Look, I know there’s a war and everything going on, but that doesn’t mean we can’t have a bit of fun. Who knows what will happen when the lights go out?”

 

    Looking at Sirius’ lips, his eyebrows pulled up, pleading, gave Remus sudden motivation to go. What  _ would _ happen with the lights out?

 

    He scolded himself immediately.  _ What if I bite him? I don’t know what would happen. I don’t want him to become a monster like me. _

 

_ Besides, even associating with me is social suicide. If word gets out that I’m a werewolf, we’ll both be finished. ...God, I want to finish him. _

 

    Sirius patted the couch seat next to him. Remus grudgingly crossed the room and sunk ungratefully onto the cushion. Sirius automatically propped his legs up across his lap. Remus sincerely hoped he could not feel the results of his recent thoughts.  _ Maybe that’ll help my case _ , he pondered. Then,  _ Remus. You do not have a case. Nobody could love you and nobody wants you...it doesn’t matter how much you want them. _

 

    “Don’t leave me alone,” he finally said. He rested his palm on Sirius’ knee. “I’m serious. You leave me for one second, and I’m going to bolt.”

 

    “Yes! I could kiss you! I promise I won’t leave your side, Moony!” He grinned and patted the hand resting on his knee. “ _ I’m _ Sirius.”

 

    Remus shook his head at his friend, smiling. “You know what, Pads? You’re an idiot. I’m glad you’re one of my best mates, though.”

 

    “Me too. Now come on! What is that, a sweater vest? It’s 1978, for Merlin’s sake! We’ve got to get you into some real clothes.”

 

    “I happen to like my clothes.”

 

    “I don’t understand why. You’re probably the only person on the planet that can get away dressing the way you do. If anything, can I please do your hair?”

 

     His fingers wound through the sandy waves longingly. “Just a bit of gel would do wonders.”

 

   Remus shook him off, trapping his hands with his own. “No. I’ve agreed to come to your stupid party, but I refuse to have you dress me up like a doll.”

 

    “It’s  _ our _ stupid party,” Sirius reminded him. “Let’s go upstairs and see what’s taking so long!”

 

    Lily came into the room as they were standing up, arms crossed. She looked divine, dressed in a very low cut sequined leotard layered beneath a sheer skirt. Sirius wolf-whistled and Remus looked over at him. “Prongs is letting you go out in that?”

 

    Lily gave him a highly offended look. “ _ I’m _ letting me go out in this. Merlin, Padfoot, it’s like you’ve learned nothing hanging out with me the past couple years.”

 

    James and Peter entered the room. James wrapped his arms around Lily, running his hands down her ribs. She giggled and swatted him away, but leaned her torso back into his. “Isn’t she lovely?”

 

    “I’m drooling like a dog over here,” Sirius grinned.

 

    “If I had something to throw at you, I would.” Lily laughed at the joke nonetheless. “Come on, guys! Let’s go party!”

 

    Sirius loped easily around the room, tossing Remus’ jacket at him. “You and me on the bike?”

 

    “It makes me nervous,” he said hesitantly. In all actuality, Remus did not fear motorcycles; the worst that could happen on them was simply death. He was afraid, however, that being that close to Sirius with the vibrating bike beneath them would worsen a certain problem of his.

 

    “I won’t let you crash. If anything, Prongs can just patch you right up. We’re wizards here, remember?”

 

    Remus sighed but pulled his jacket on.

    “Just for the record, you’re the designated driver.”

 

    “You could always just Apparate,” laughed James. He immediately cast an apologetic look at Peter.

 

    “Nah, I don’t fancy trying to while I’m drunk,” Sirius said seriously. “I reckon I’d Splinch myself and end up rightly a house dog.”

 

     Remus groaned and shook his head half-heartedly. He was far too used to his friends’ potty jokes to care much, but he didn’t want to let his mind wander too far into thoughts about Sirius and his unneutered status.

 

    James waited until they were all out, talking over one another and generally bustling, then locked the door. He glanced over at Lily, who was bent double with laughter at a joke Peter had made. He stepped back and took in their cottage. His teeth showed and his lips were pulled back in a soft smile, shining eyes taking in his new life.

 

    “Come on, Prongs!” Lily called, extending her hand out behind her. He moseyed up to it, grabbing it and immediately bringing it to his mouth to kiss.

 

     “I was just thinking about how excited I am to wake up to you every morning, Lils.”

 

    She smiled widely up at him, eyes crinkling and shining with a light that was only there when he was. “Me, too. Although I have a feeling we will both be waking up with terrible hangovers tomorrow.”

 

    “Cheers!” They climbed into their used Satellite. Peter got into the backseat, looking excited.

 

    “I’ve never ridden in a car this new,” he said, enviously running his hands along the interior.

 

    “Come off it, mate, this thing is six years old,” James laughed.

 

   “I’m serious! Mum and Dad won’t buy them, say they’ll explode if you look at them wrong. They stick to Floo powder mostly.”

 

    Lily giggled. “Well, there’s nothing wrong with a bit of dizziness. It’s probably safer, what with Prongs’ driving, anyway.”

 

    “Not you, too!” James groaned at her. “You know, you’re supposed to be supportive now that we’re dating.”

 

    “I  _ am  _ being supportive--of keeping us alive.”

 

    He shook his head and scowled playfully at her. “Says the lady who won’t even drive.”

 

    “I am not about to go back to cars when I have magical transportation at my fingertips--or my wandtip.”

 

    “I’m not sure how she talked you out of brooms,” Peter piped up.

 

    “Ah, they’re too much a pain in the ass. Assuming you ride them for long enough, that is.”

 

    “Right, as if Lily doesn’t have enough pains to deal with.”

 

    Bonnie Tyler’s voice came on the radio at that point; Lily groaned. Immediately, James turned it up as loud as it could go, and both him and Peter belted out the lyrics to “It’s A Heartache,” nowhere close to the same key as she. Lily covered her ears, miming blood leaking from them.

 

   Peter pulled the door closed behind him. Remus climbed onto the back of Sirius’ motorcycle and situated himself so that he wasn’t quite touching him.

    “You’ll probably want to cover your ears,” Sirius said apologetically. “And once I start this thing up, cling to me like your life depends on it...because it kind of does.”

 

    Remus obligingly covered his ears and closed his eyes, for good measure. As the bike roared to life, he cringed and squeezed his eyes even tighter together. It was painfully loud for a second, and then the bike rumbled down to an idle. He uncovered his ears, although it was still loud enough to hurt them. Of all the things, he couldn’t believe he’d forgotten his earmuffs beneath his bed at Hogwarts. He assumed that an owl would be able to bring them, but he doubted if the staff would go through that much trouble. A house elf would, he assumed, but would they know where to send it…?

 

    “Hands around me!” Sirius shouted at him, pulling his arms tight around his ribs.

 

    Remus clenched his biceps and leaned his head into his shoulder. It was broad and warm, and smelt entirely too good to be fair. Sirius kicked off, and they sped away. Remus instantly wished he could again cover his ears, but the wind kicked up and blocked some of the noise.

 

    They rode for roughly twenty minutes, Sirius weaving in between cars with lightning reflexes. It would be funny, Remus thought, for him to recreate Sirius’ dangerous driving with his own reflexes; he knew Sirius prided himself on his ability to brush death with every cruise, but Remus knew he could put him to shame.

 

    The house was already blasting music when they pulled up. They’d beaten James and company, which didn’t surprise Remus at all, what with the way Sirius drove. Tiny golden lights hovered near the hedges; Remus instantly recognized them as fairies. Sirius parked and immediately dismounted. He offered Remus a hand off, but dropped it quickly. “Do you want to wait for Prongs?”

 

    Remus nodded slightly. He could feel the blood draining slightly from his face; social situations had never suited him well, the music was already giving him a headache, and on top of all that, he was just realizing that he had a very large problem in his pants.

 

    “I wonder why the neighbors don’t call those Muggle knockers,” he commented. “Loud music.”

 

     Remus shrugged. “ _ Muffliato _ would be a simple enough spell to use.”

 

     “I’m not sure about the range on that one, but whatever you say.”

 

     A heavy hand clapped his shoulder; he jumped out of the way. He felt at odds with his own body, and shaken he hadn’t noticed the person before he touched him.

 

     “Frank! How are you?”

 

    Sirius took his hand enthusiastically. Frank laughed and shook his head. “You’ve seen me a couple of days ago. But we’re really well, thank you. Alice is settling for me, can you believe that?”

 

    “Don’t tell me…” Remus began.

 

   He held up his left hand proudly, upon which was a simple, thick band of a dark metal. “I asked her at the park right next to our new house. Candles, roses, the whole bit. I did everything without magic--”

 

    “Oh, are you telling them?” Alice walked up to them, smiling brilliantly. She put an arm around his waist and stretched up to kiss his cheek.

 

    “How did you know?” He looked down at her, inclining his head to kiss the top of hers.

 

    “Just your expression. You should have seen him,” she said, turning to Sirius and Remus. “He did everything the Muggle way and told me I was the only magic he needed in his life. Can you imagine!”

 

     “Let’s see the ring, then!”

 

   James, Lily, and Peter all walked up to them. Frank looked slightly uncomfortable, but nonetheless smiled. He avoided eye contact with Peter, who resolutely did the same.

 

    While Lily and Alice gushed over the ring (while James paying very close attention to Lily’s reaction), Frank said to Remus in a low voice, “By the way, mate, if you need a place to stay, our flat is always open. I know your parents don’t have much money and because of your illness, it’ll be hard to get a job.”

 

    Remus stared at him, wide-eyed. “Who told you I was...ill?”

 

    Frank shook his head. “Forgive me, but it isn’t hard to work out. You’re constantly exhausted and you look like your body is putting up one hell of a fight. What have you got, if you don’t mind me asking?”

 

    “Well, it’s actually a very severe disease he suffers from,” Sirius butted in. “But if you must know, he suffers from reading-all-hours-of-the-night-and-not-eating-how-I-tell-him-to.”

 

    Frank smiled, but it didn’t quite touch his eyes. “Of course, I hear that’s going around.” He dipped his head towards Alice. “She has a rather mild case of it, herself.”

 

     Remus tried to smile back, but it ended up more a grimace than anything. Sirius shook back his hair and put an arm around his shoulders.

 

    “If you’ll excuse us, Frank, I hear some alcohol calling our names. It was so good to catch up. We’ll definitely be keeping in touch.”

 

    He followed their backs with his eyes, then walked over to Alice, putting an arm around her shoulders. He whispered something into her ear; she scowled, and looked round at them. She fished in her pockets and gave him a Sickle. He grinned.

 

    Inside, the music was even louder. Remus instantly obtained two shots of firewhiskey and downed them both, hoping for some relief. Sirius was of course surrounded almost at once, talking and laughing with old classmates.

 

_ Really _ , Remus thought, shaking his head slightly and distancing himself slightly away from the gaggle,  _ you’d think it has been years since they saw him. Though I can’t blame them in the slightest for wanting those stormy eyes upon them. _

 

    He sighed and walked towards the long counter stretched at the front of the room, lined with bottles of every alcohol imaginable, Muggle and Wizarding alike. He grabbed one at random and started to refill his shot glass. He glanced back at Sirius; a witch with long, dark hair was batting her eyes at him rapidly and laughing at something like she’d lost her wits.

 

    Turning back to his task, he considered the label--Rosmerta’s Hand-brewed Mead--and abandoned his glass, drinking straight from the bottle instead. He’d drained nearly half when Sirius finally untangled himself from the crowd and sauntered over to him.

 

     “Reckon she’s into me?” he asked, irony saturating his tone. Remus raised his eyebrows at the same witch, who was now watching them talk with a somewhat sulky expression.

 

    “Nah, mate. I hate to break it to you, but she’s obviously heard we’re close and wants to get in good with you for an opportunity to talk to me.” He took another long drink and closed his eyes momentarily.

 

     When he opened them, Sirius was staring at him with apparent pleasure. “You’re definitely right. Don’t worry, though. I won’t let her steal you away from me.”

 

     Remus snorted slightly. “God, let’s not bother with pretenses. If you really want to go off with her, I think I’ll manage.”

 

     “I don’t want to sleep with her, Moony. She’s not my type, anyway. I prefer blondes.”

 

     At that moment, a very drunk James swooped Remus into a hug. He staggered into him, bottle clanking against James’ head, though he made no reaction to it.

 

      “Moony! Old boy! Look at you!” He tilted his head back to properly stare into Remus’ face, though the drink in him made it impossible for him to focus his eyes. “You’re enjoying yourself?”

 

      “Not as much as you, I’d reckon,” he grinned. “It’s been, what, four minutes?”

 

     “And the party is just getting started,” Lily chimed in, coming up to prise James’ arms from his side. He struggled against her for a moment, then roared,

 

      “Lils! Jolly good to see you!” and pulled her in for a hug. She grinned over his shoulder at Remus and Sirius, who were both shaking with laughter.

 

     “Oh, you’re in for a right spell with him,” Sirius said. “I’ll bet you a sickle he vomits at least three times tonight.”

 

      “You’re on. A Galleon it’ll be three times within the hour.” She sighed dramatically and turned away, calling, “Will you look after him? I’ve got to go get some water. I’m not a right hand at healing spells, and I reckon even Saint Mungo’s couldn’t set straight alcohol poisoning of this degree, the rate he’s gone at.”

 

     They both agreed and, as one, shifted his weight onto their feet, heaving him onto a leather couch opposite the makeshift bar.

 

     “Did you see her?” he asked them loudly. “She’s a right beauty, that one. If I could hold all the stars in my hand, they wouldn’t be half as bright as her.”

 

     They assured him that he was indeed a lucky man. He went on until she came back about how beautiful she was and how incredibly fortunate he was. She pushed the water into his hand and told him to drink up.

 

     “I can’t drive you all the way to London if you need, so you’d better drink. If you need to throw up, let me know.”

 

     Sirius glanced over at Remus, then sat up in alarm. “Moony, are you alright?”

 

    He groaned, his palms muffling the sound slightly. He was bent over double, nearly falling off the couch for leaning forward. “I’ve got to find a toilet.”

 

     Sirius made to get up, but he said sharply, “Don’t bother. I’ll manage. Have fun out here, mate. I might not be back for a bit.”

 

      Remus stood up and, wobbling substantially, made his way up the stairs. He opened door after door, head pounding and stomach heaving. The ground seemed to rise up to meet him with every step he took, but he was so warm and giddy at the same time.  _ I don’t want to be sick. I want to have fun. Downstairs. With Sirius. _

 

     Three doors down, he found the oasis he was seeking. He closed the door behind him, leaning his burning forehead against the cold porcelain. It calmed him down a bit, but there was no stopping the acid he could feel creeping up his throat.

 

_ Might as well get it over with, _ he figured. He shook his torso from side to side, building the nausea until he vomited. His stomach clenched and he choked again and again while his system cleansed itself. His head ached something dreadful, but still his mind refused to clear. He groaned and glanced at the clawed bathtub set in the corner of the room.

 

      He stared at it for a long moment. Finally, resolve hardened his pitiful features and he went to move, just to dry heave again over the toilet. Once he was done, he dragged himself, shaking, across the small bathroom into the tub. It was cold, which did wonders for his fevered body. He drew the shower curtain around him. Time slowed and he laid there, panting, for what felt like forever.

 

_ I could get used to this, _ he thought to himself.  _ I should be getting back to Sirius, though. I’ll bet he’s worried sick--- _

 

    At that moment, the door flew open against the wall with a bang. Remus jumped and tried to pull himself upright, but he was too weak and fell back against the basin, cracking his head. Dazed, he put a hand to the wound.

 

     “Oh, I want you,” a familiar voice growled.

 

     “Sirius?” he asked, but only a small sound escaped his lips, drowned out by the music pounding through the open doorway.

 

     “Take me, then,” a high voice dared. “Right here.”

 

     The sounds of rustling fabric reached his ears.  _ No. _

 

     It was as if he were Petrified. Horrified, he could only listen as sounds continued from behind the curtain. A moan cut through to Remus’ core. He’d imagined Sirius making those sounds before, but he didn’t ever picture it like this. “No!”

 

     Frantically, he scrabbled against the tub, finding no leverage and hitting his head against it multiple times. He ripped open the curtain to see Sirius’ astonished face, hovering inches above the black-haired witch’s head. Her skirt was pulled up, her panties beneath the sink along with Sirius’ pants. He stopped mid-thrust, and she reached for his hips, pulling his length inside of her and releasing a long, drawn-out moan.

 

     “Shit! Moony, I--”

 

     Remus hoisted himself over the tub’s rim and bolted from the room, lurching wildly. His head hurt and he couldn’t think and his heart, oh god, his  _ heart _ \--

 

     He heard a shout, a scream, and then Sirius was running after him, pulling his pants on hastily--

 

      Remus ran to the nearest bedroom, where a couple was tangled on the bed.

 

      “Out!” he said harshly, pointing at the door. They looked up, shocked, and immediately left. Sirius ran into them headlong, knocking one of them to the floor. She bounced hard and yelled,

 

      “Fucking prick!” and took off after the other.

 

      “Get out!” Remus shouted, storming over to him. “I need to be alone!”

 

     “Moony, let me--”

 

     “I don’t want to hear it, okay? Leave me the fuck alone, Sirius!”

 

     “Moony,  _ please _ , I--”

 

     “Get OUT!”

 

     He went to close the door in his face, but Sirius grabbed his hand. Even now, after that, his broad, strong hands sent pangs of longing through him.

 

       “Remus, listen to me! LISTEN TO ME! I love you!”

 

     He stopped, shocked. His mouth opened and shut rapidly, like a fish gasping for air. He stopped, shook himself slightly, then coldly said, “I told you to get out.”

 

      Sirius pushed past him, closing the door as he went in. “No. Remus, please. I’m sorry. I didn’t...I don’t even...I’m drunk. I don’t…. She isn’t my type.” He sat on the bed heavily.

 

       Remus folded his arms and leaned against the door. “Yeah? Didn’t look that way to me, funnily enough.”

 

        “Remus. You’re my type. Moony, I’ve had a crush on you...since the day we met. Do you remember it?”

 

      Of course he remembered it, how could he not, it was the day his life began, but--

 

      “I don’t care. I don’t want to hear it, Sirius. That honestly makes it worse. There are many ways to my heart, but I can assure you, that--” he gestured violently to the closed door, “--is not one of them. Go away. I just want to sleep.”

 

      “Can we talk about this tomorrow, then?” Sirius looked as heartbroken as Remus felt.

 

     “Fine. Whatever. Just leave.”

 

    Sirius got up slowly and walked toward the door. Remus let him brush past, leaning away so they didn’t touch. He opened it for him, though. Sirius turned, opening his mouth, and Remus shut it firmly. He turned the lock loudly.

 

      Remus launched himself onto the bed. He covered his face with his hands, the scene burned into his eyelids. He started to cry--something he hadn’t done in years, although he felt like doing it almost every day.  _ How could he? How could he! _

 

       The pillows were soaked through by the time he’d exhausted himself and succumbed to the dark pressure gathering at the edges of his eyes. Outside, Sirius leaned his head against the door and allowed himself to drift off.

  
_ Tomorrow, _ he promised himself.  _ Tomorrow, I’ll somehow make everything right again…. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the angst...but not really. Thank you so much for reading!! I hope you enjoyed this! I'll post the next chapter on Monday! I appreciate everybody taking the time to check it out! <3 <3 <3


	3. Open Doors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The after-math of the party. Sirius has a surprise for Remus, and Remus falls even harder for Sirius (as if that was possible???)

The smell of vomit burned Remus’ nostrils. He slowly came to, rubbing his eyes and looking around the unfamiliar room, eyebrows drawn together. He sat up slowly, and instantly felt a thousand hammers drumming at the inside of his skull. He groaned and lay back down.

    “What a fucking night,” he said to himself, the words more hoarse than normal.

    And suddenly, the scene he’d witnessed the night before came flooding back. He squeezed his eyes shut, pressing his palms into them and rubbing hard. Little bursts of color blossomed behind them and fireworks of pain exploded in his skull; he instantly stopped, but the pain lingered. Even more painful, though, was the ache in his heart.

_ What more did you expect?  _ he asked himself harshly.  _ You know that Si-he’s bisexual. She wasn’t anything special, but neither are you. Why would he ever want some loser like you? You’re a monster. _

    Resigning himself to his misery, he considered falling back asleep. True, this was a stranger's house, and he could only hope that it was a Sunday like he thought, but reality was really just not doing it for him today. He tried slip back, but his throbbing headache pushed him further into consciousness. A band poster hanging on the wall featured four staring figures; their eyes bored into him, and he grew increasingly uncomfortable, able to feel them on him even through closed eyes.

    He couldn’t take it any longer. He abruptly sat up, causing an awful jolt in his head. His stomach lurched with it, and he started retching. Nothing but bile came up, and he saw immediately why--he was laying in a puddle of vomit that he could only hope was his own. Groaning and crying slightly from throwing up, he piled the blankets up on the bed.

_ I’m never throwing any parties at my own house _ , he thought, grateful he didn’t have to deal with the mess the rest of the house undoubtedly was. Then,  _ Of course you won’t. Who would even come? _ Which, naturally, sent his mind back to his raven-haired object of desire. Or maybe not desire. He couldn’t decide how he felt about him now.

     There was a very quiet knock on the door. “Is that you, Moony?” Sirius called through the wood.

    “Don’t come in!” He quickly looked around the room, but the only condemning evidence of his drunkenness was contained inside the blanket pile. His clothes were wrinkled and stank of alcohol, pot, and vomit, but there was nothing he could do about that.

     He got up, shaking slightly. He was still extremely weak, though usually this time of month he was at his best. He crossed the room and opened the door to find a very disheveled Sirius gazing back at him.

    “Are you okay, mate? I guess we must have had a bit too much fun last night.” Sirius stretched, then stopped midway, looking peaky. “God, how much did I have?”

    “Enough, I’d wager,” was all Remus was able to manage. Then, “So you don’t remember much?”

    “Nah, I remember you going off, and I was going to follow you, but Prongs told me to let you be for a bit. Reckoned you needed to be by yourself. This witch--and I’m not using that entirely literally--came up to me and kept pouring me drinks. I’m sorry, mate, I kept trying to come after you, but she just insisted that I kept drinking. Wouldn’t let me get away. Anyway, I woke up on the floor right outside….”

     He kept talking, but for once, Remus was too lost in his thoughts to hang onto his every word.  _ He was smashed? That bitch. She must have intentionally done that…. So, does that mean I forgive him? Somebody once told me that drunk actions are sober thoughts...although, in my experience, that isn’t necessarily true. Do I just want to forgive him? _

     “Moony? What do you reckon?” He was lounging with his back against the doorway, looking haughty and handsome and completely irresistible.

     “Mmm?” He met his silvery eyes.

     “I say we ditch. Not many other people are awake yet; we must have gone to bed before the party  _ really _ started.”

     “What about Prongs and Lily and Wormtail?”

     Sirius shrugged. “They drove themselves. We should go clean up.”

     “My parents don’t live far from here,” Remus offered. Then he paused. “Which reminds me...I really need to get around to finding my own place. They won’t like to see us like this.”

     “About that. I have something to show you.”

     “Right now? I’m not exactly at my best.”

     Sirius grinned. “Trust me. I bet it will make you feel better.”

    “Alright. You’re the boss.”

    Sirius sprang away from the doorway. “Excellent! Let’s go right now. We can clean up in one of these bathrooms real quick.”

    He led him to the very bathroom the...incident had occurred in last night. Remus looked at the floor where the black-haired girl had laid. He was suddenly nauseated again. Sirius pulled his shirt over his head, exposing a lean torso rippling with long muscles. Remus tried to look away with all of his might, but his eyes simply refused to obey the command. Sirius turned on the sink and started to splash water across his chest. The water droplets clung to his skin, pooling slightly around his collarbones. Remus imagined what he’d look like soaked, his hair sopping and pushed back, his hip bones leading down to….

    He gulped loudly, but Sirius didn’t seem to hear. His back was to him, and Remus couldn’t help but gaze at his broad shoulders and the ropy muscles of his back.

_ Good lord, the boy has genetics. I know his family is awful, but...I’d never guess he was a pure-blood. Perhaps there  _ is _ something to be said for interbreeding. _

     “Remus, why don’t you clean up in the bath? That way we can leave earlier. I don’t want to run into anybody on our way out; I can’t handle anybody today.”

     “What makes you think you’ll enjoy coming out with me, then?”

     “You know I’ve already come out,” he laughed. “Fifth year, remember?”

    “I still don’t know how you convinced Lily to teach you that spell,” Remus grinned. He crossed over, slipping out of his sweater. The button up beneath it was wrinkled but vomit-free; Remus decided it would have to do. He pulled that up over his head, so that his voice was muffled as he said, “Having your hair flash rainbow for a week was a great touch, though.”

    “Good thing I’m a wizard,” Sirius said seriously. “I don’t fancy being a gay Muggle, let alone a bisexual one.”

     “It seems like things are getting better,” Remus said. “Although, I’m sure they’ve had magical help. People can’t demand things get better if they don’t know they have it bad.”

    Sirius nodded solemnly. “You should be a public speaker, Moony. You’d be a right good one.”

    Not sure if he was making fun of him, Remus just splashed water from the running tub’s stream onto his face. He cringed slightly as it coursed over him; it was an eternal battle, cleaning himself. On the one hand, he loved being clean, but on the other...water. He couldn’t remember ever liking baths, but his mother had once told him he used to love them. She started crying when he asked what changed, but that gave him his answer.

    “What the hell?” Sirius held up his keys, a puzzled look on his face. “These were beneath the sink. I wonder how they got there?”

    Remus could only look at him. He hadn’t decided what would be best yet.  _ To tell or not to tell? _ The dilema he found himself in was impossible. “Er. Probably from throwing up in here last night. You’re lucky you found them.”

    Sirius shrugged amiably, then looked at his shirt, balled up on the floor. “I think it would be best I don’t put that back on.”

     “You’re going to ride your bike without a shirt? That sounds damn cold. And painful. What about bugs?”

     Sirius shrugged. “Good thing it’s July. Come on, hurry up!”

     Remus shook himself off, ignoring Sirius’ grin. “Stop  _ dogging _ me, Padfoot.”

     A bark of laughter rewarded him. Grinning, he put his shirt back on and buttoned it up. “Alright, I’m ready. Let’s get out of here.”

    Sirius brushed back Remus’ hair, his hand lingering on his temple. It throbbed beneath his touch, and Remus jerked away. “Ouch.”

     “It looks like you had a rough night. There’s a pretty bad bruise there.”

     “It’s probably from Prongs hitting me over the head with his bottle.”

     Sirius smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “Oh, yeah. I forgot about that.”

     Remus didn’t tell him about the bruises hidden by his blonde hair on the back, but he could feel them. He was surprised his headache wasn’t more painful; he’d been almost certain one of the hits on the tub was a concussion. Sirius pulled his signature leather jacket over his bare chest, leaving it open. He was unrighteously attractive.

    They went downstairs, treading carefully over piles of vomit, spilled bottles lying on their sides, and sleeping people. James and Lily, they saw with some amusement, had apparently fallen asleep on the couch.

    “Shame,” Sirius muttered to Remus. “They’ve a perfectly good cottage now.”

    “Prongs was in no shape to drive last night.”

    “Is he ever?”

    They made it out, pulling the front door shut quietly behind them. Sirius wheeled his motorcycle out of the driveway and pushed it down the street. When they were about four houses down, he looked back at Remus. “Alright, are you ready?”

     “As I’ll ever be.”

     “This trip is going to be a bit. As in, two hours. Is that alright?”

     Remus tipped his head. “As I said, you’re the boss. I was supposed to be job hunting today, but I don’t mind putting that off.”

    “Oh, that reminds me! Dumbledore sent me an owl asking you if you were interested in that potion testing. I know the full moon isn’t for a fortnight, but we should let him know. He seemed to think that I’d be a better person to discuss your furry little problem with than him, for whatever reason.”

     “I’ll do it. I can’t exactly turn down a job, and anything that could potentially help those with my...affliction…. I’ll do it.”

    “Excellent. Hop on! I’ll send him an owl sometime today.”

    Sirius made to get onto the bike, but Remus put one hand on his chest. The bare skin sent shivers of desire through him. "Hang on." He pulled his wand from his pocket and muttered, " _Impervius_." He smiled at him. "I'm pretty sure that only makes you waterproof, but it's worth a shot."

    He grinned back and tied his hair tightly behind his head. "I don't like it like this," he said a bit defensively, noting Remus' eyes taking it in. "It's just a pain to get the knots out otherwise. Trial and error." Remus shrugged at him.

    "It suits you, though." They climbed onto the bike and were off.

    The time passed too quickly, and yet it was tortuously slow; the roar of the engine hurt Remus’ ears and his back ached from sitting so long, but his arms were around Sirius and the top of his head pressed into his broad shoulders. The wind whipped around them, making conversation impossible. Seeing the changing countryside made Remus hopeful; they were heading southwest, and maybe getting away from his hometown--where nobody knew him or his secret--would make life easier, make getting a job possible, even easy. His grades were outstanding and he felt, for the first time in his life, a spark of possibility and hope for his future. Granted that his guard dog stayed by his side, he felt as if he could accomplish anything in that moment.

     Finally, they pulled up to a small, cozy house set off by itself. Remus couldn’t see any neighbors, just the rolling landscape around it and the distant ocean, under a league away.

    Sirius cut the engine and stared at it with Remus. “Welcome home.”

    “What? This is miles away from anything!”

    “And anybody. It’s perfect, wouldn’t you agree? You’ve all this space to roam. I can transform and keep you away from others. We’re about a league away from anything else, and under half of that from the ocean. And if the potion works, you’ll even be able to stay inside the house. Or go outside, if you’d like. We can have a bonfire on the beach.”

    Remus just stared at his new-found haven. Gruffly, he embraced Sirius. “Thank you, mate.”

    “Don’t thank me, thank Dumbledore. I’m just the messenger,” he laughed, but returned the hug warmly. “And in case you get lonely, I can live here with you. It’s two bedroom,” he added quickly, misinterpreting the look on his face.

    “I’d...I’d like that.”

    “Then let’s get settled. What do you say a quick shower for both of us, then I’ll give you the tour?”

    Remus nodded, at a loss for words. Sirius led him to the front door and unlocked it. He opened it and stepped aside to allow Remus to head in first. He did so, and the open doorway, he felt like, was one of many in this bright new chapter of his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!!! I'm sorry if that gets annoying, but I will thank you every single time for taking your time to read this. I apologize for the lack of smut, but I hope there's enough sexual tension to keep you going for the time being. It's coming, no pun intended! (But sort of intended.) I'll update again next Monday! <3 I also fixed the formatting a little bit. I'm sorry, I'm totally new to ao3! Hopefully that makes it a little easier to read.


	4. Lunar Excursion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Albus Dumbledore begins work on Wolfsbane Potion with Remus' help. Sirius and Remus decide on rooming arrangements.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning, NSFW material!

 

     _This is the happiest I’ve ever been_ , Remus thought privately as Sirius led him through the small yet spacious cottage. The walls were all a pale white, the floors light hardwood, with dark metallic accents on the cupboards and dark wooden paneling around the doors. The bedrooms were carpeted with a dark grey and it was already furnished; the master bedroom had a king sized bed with white sheets and an attached bathroom.

    “Oh, and I forgot to show you the best part!” Sirius exclaimed once he was finished showing Remus the luxurious kitchen. He led him down the short hallway to the second bedroom, which had a twin-sized bed pushed against the wall and a floor-length window opposite it. Beside it, two bowls with bones decorating their lips sat. A few feet away was a fluffy pet bed with a rawhide bone sitting atop it.

     “This will be your room, of course, and I’ll sleep there,” Sirius laughed, pointing at the human bed.

    “Okay, I changed my mind. You’re definitely not living with me.” Remus pretended to scowl, but his smile shone through it anyway. “Did you really buy those entirely to make that joke?”

     Sirius shrugged. “Do you really expect any better of me?”

     “Fair enough.”

     There was a slightly awkward pause, then Sirius said, “Anyway, though, the other room is yours. I don’t need much to keep me happy, and I don’t expect we will be around much here, anyway.”

    Remus suddenly grew sad, and he realized he was greatly looking forward to spending uninterrupted time with Sirius. Ever since he’d declared his undying love, Remus felt both distinctly more awkward, and yet more hopeful. He had long ago resigned himself to the fact he’d never marry, never have kids, for fear of tainting them by association, but if this potion worked out….

     “Why’s that?” He asked finally. “I suppose Prongs’ place is bigger, but….”

    “No, I think this house is excellent,” Sirius said. “I expect the Order will be keeping us pretty busy, though.”

     “Ah, you’ve a point there.” Remus walked away, into the living room, and sank onto the futon. “You’d never know this wasn’t just a couch,” he added, pushing on the cushion.

    “Yeah, Dumbledore wanted us to have a couple extra places we could have people stay, if need be,” he said nonchalantly. “Obviously, around less sensitive parts of the month,” he added, seeing Remus pale slightly. “Really, though, I think we’ll be okay. Once they perfect that potion, nobody will ever need know.”

     “ _If_ they perfect it. I’m a bit nervous, if I’m being honest,” Remus admitted. “What if they mess up and they think I’ll be tame and I bite somebody? What if it makes me more powerful? What if--”

    “What if they can’t shove it down your throat because you won’t stop talking?” Remus looked a little hurt, and Sirius clapped a hand on his back. “Sorry, mate, but you don’t know until you test it. The research looks very impressive--that of it I could decipher. Dumbledore showed me some of it, and it all looks promising. The various ingredients have been known to control different aspects--aconite to calm you, valerian roots to make you tired, and it looked like something about powdered silver as well?”

     “That makes sense, as powdered silver combined with dittany will seal werewolf bites,” Remus said thoughtfully. Sirius just looked at him.

     “What?” he asked defensively.

    “I just forget I’m in the presence of a genius. You’d think I’d be used to it now, seeing as I spent seven years with you at school.”

    Remus grinned, somewhat grimly. “Well, I’ve done a lot of research on the subject. I hope Dumbledore gives me access to some of the research papers. I’d love to read them.”

    “I hope he’ll be able to. From what he said, they were highly confidential. Apparently, there’s been somewhat of a controversy surrounding the creation of it at all. Bullshit. I hope it succeeds and becomes accessible for everybody living with your condition. If anybody ever took the time to bother getting to know a werewolf, they’d have to dispel the prejudice from their minds. Of course, I’m not sure most would bother,” he added bitterly. Remus imagined instantly his descriptions of his parents, and agreed silently.

     “Why would they, anyway?” he sighed. “The problems of werewolves don’t affect them. You don’t care until you’re bitten.”

     “Hey, now. That’s not true. Dumbledore cares; this bloke Damocles Belby cares. I care immensely. You’re not a werewolf first; you’re Remus Lupin, my best mate.”

     Remus smiled at him, though it didn’t reach his eyes. “Thanks. I wouldn’t know, for how many wolf jokes you make.”

    “I can stop if it bothers you,” he said instantly, his eyebrows raising in concern.

    “...Nah. It actually helps, I think.” Remus stared at his hands. “Growing up, my parents never wanted to talk about it. We pretended like it wasn’t real. I got stronger and stronger, and it was harder for them to contain me...Dumbledore was the first person who treated me like a person. My parents did the best they could, of course, but...they didn’t understand. He used to invite me into his office and just let me talk to him about it.

    “I’ve never told you how much your friendship meant to me during those early years, or how much it still means to me. But it means the world.”

    Sirius smiled at him. “I wouldn’t give it up for anything, Moony. You’re perfect the way you are.”

    Remus opened his mouth to reply, but a loud bang made them both jump up, wands pointed at the door.

    They looked at each other with wide eyes, staring out the window placed by the door--nobody was there. An owl popped up suddenly, hooting feebly.

    “ _Homenum Revelio!”_ Remus said firmly, pointing at the door. The owl’s feathers ruffled slightly. He nodded grimly to Sirius, and pointed himself at the window still, looking purposefully worried. Sirius snuck over to the door, and opened it very suddenly, pointing his wand threatenly at the open space. The owl hopped in and held out its leg purposefully. Sirius carefully removed the letter tied around it.

     As soon as he started unfurling the curled parchment, the owl hooted loudly and hopped back out the door, taking flight from the porch. Remus watched it fly away as Sirius closed the door and locked it.

    “What’s it say?”

    “It’s from Dumbledore,” he said, holding up the letter so that Remus could see the long, thin handwriting. “It just says ‘Kindly light a fire around five pm today.’”

    “Huh. He must be coming in person to see us. That seems a little odd; he must be so busy with Order business.”

    “He probably misses us. We were his favorite group of students,” Sirius said seriously.

    “That’s true.”

    Remus stood up suddenly and went back to the kitchen. Clanging pans and banging cupboard doors had Sirius in, asking what he was doing.

    “It’s four forty-five; we should have some tea on, at the least. Are there any biscuits anywhere here?”

   Sirius obligingly searched the pantry and placed some on the counter after a few minutes. Remus was still rummaging through the cupboards and cussing quietly beneath his breath. “Who in their right mind would hide a kettle in a _British_ _household_?” he muttered, irritated, as Sirius walked over to the stove, brushing up past him. Remus reflexively leaned away from the contact, though everything in him wanted to keep against him.

   Sirius turned the sink water on and began filling up a navy blue teapot. Remus looked around at him. “Where did you find that?” he demanded, outraged.

   “Stove top.” He snickered as Remus sighed dramatically and started replacing the pans he’d removed. “Maybe you should go start that fire so Dumbledore can come over,” he added.

    “Whatever, you and I both know your fire doesn’t need to be burning for it to work.”

    Sirius moved across the kitchen to place the pot on the stove at the same time Remus stood up; the kettle fell to the floor, spilling water everywhere but bouncing harmlessly twice; Sirius, off-balance, started to fall and Remus instinctually wrapped his long fingers around his arms and yanked him upright. He didn’t immediately release his hands, only because of the blush creeping up Sirius’ neck. He’d seen him blush only twice before, once when he accidentally walked in on him changing in the dormitory, and once when he’d caught him doing something more...personal in the bathroom.

    He stared at it wonderingly, and his eyes flicked up to Sirius’, staring up at him, visibly breathless. He opened his mouth slightly, hesitantly, as Sirius brought his head closer--

    A loud noise, the distinctive sound of somebody arriving by Floo powder, came from the living room, and they both turned, dropping their hands as if they’d been caught doing something wrong.

    “Remus? Sirius?” Albus’s voice came almost instantly. Sirius went at once to go greet their guest. He didn’t look back at Remus.

    “Ah, Sirius!” Albus greeted him warmly. “I’m afraid to tell you that I’m getting soot on the rug. Is Remus around?”

    “Uh, yeah. Nice glasses, sir. Those are new.”

    Albus nodded at him. “Alas, I am older than I feel. My eyes simply refused to keep up with me anymore.”

    “They suit you. Er…. We’ve put on tea for you. I’ll go grab him--make yourself at home.”

    Albus situated himself on the futon, looking quite comical on the low furniture, his knees practically up to his ears. Humming quietly to himself, he looked around at the sparsely decorated living room and chuckled ironically to himself when he spotted the wolf sculpture Sirius had added to the mantlepiece since he’d last been there.

     Sounds of running water reached his ears. Low voices were indecipherable, but they sounded urgent. After a time, a tea kettle whistled and was quickly quieted; the two young men entered the room. Albus stood up, moving his gingery beard out of the way somewhat hastily, as he shook Remus’ hand. “Thank you for accepting me so graciously into your home,” he said as he took an offered biscuit from the tray Sirius was holding. Sirius set the tray on the coffee table and sat on an armchair while Remus joined Albus on the couch.

    “Of course. I understand I have you to thank for this oasis. I apologize about the wait.” Remus said.

    “Not at all. I daresay I arrived at a bad time." He grinned. "As for the house, it was my pleasure, Remus.” His blue eyes appraised him over his spectacles. “I wish that the common Wizarding attitude was different than it is; alas, things will get better in time. Indeed, this war we are in the middle of does not help any. However, I hope Mr. Belby’s work will help you and others like you. I’m sure Mr. Black has filled you in on the general idea?”

    His eyes flicked over to Sirius, who nodded solemnly. He resolutely did not look at Remus.

    “I will have the particulars delivered to you,” he said. “Owl post is not infallible, and it would not do to have the potion’s research fall into the wrong hands. It is not finished yet; in fact, I would say it is far from. Personally, I feel Mr. Belby is missing a few particulars of it, but what those are is anybody’s guess. However, it is looking very hopeful. We are close.”

    Remus nodded, but his eyebrows were still pulling together. “Professor, I--”

    “We are equals now,” Albus interrupted. “You may call me either Albus, or Dumbledore--however you prefer it.”

    “Beg your pardon, sir, but I don’t have an Order of Merlin, First Class.”

    He laughed, clapping a hand on his thigh. “Names! Awards, Remus, are nothing compared to what you live through every day. No, I’d say I am the least brave man in this room.”

    Sirius and Remus looked at each other, shocked. Albus smiled politely.

    Choosing not to argue, Remus pressed on. “Er, Dumbledore, I’m not sure that I understand why you’ve come all the way out to just tell me that much.”

    “My, you are perceptive. I’ve actually come to ask a favor of both of you. As you’ve both made me aware, you’d like to join the Order of the Phoenix. Is this still the case? You haven’t chosen...ah, to pursue other aspects life has to offer?”

     Again, they glanced at each other questioningly. Albus’ eyes twinkled with amusement.

     “No, we’re both very much wanting to join. It’s my duty, as I see it,” Sirius said grimly. “With my family being half the problem.”

     Albus dipped his head grimly. “Good people who have made rather questionable decisions.”

     “No offense, but cut the crap. Sir,” Sirius added quickly. “They were never good people. Hating Muggles and Muggleborns for existing, thinking you’re superior for any reason, makes you a bad person, and my family is full of rotten cores. I’m just grateful I’m not caught up in their ways.”

     “That is one way to look at it,” Albus said politely. “Any way, I appreciate your support. It will be mostly spy work you two will be doing, as you’re so young. My priority is to keep you out of harm’s way. I cannot, however, guarantee it; I need you both to tell me that you understand your lives may be on the line here.”

      They both nodded solemnly, missing each other with concerned glances.

      “Thank you. Now that is out of the way, I’ll be communicating to you with phoenix feathers. They are a nearly foolproof way to get messages to you; however, for more sensitive missions, I will deliver them in person. I myself set up many protective spells around this house, so it will suffice for a meeting spot. I also regret that I cannot give it to you freely, but I may require it to be used as a safehouse. However, I assure you that advance warning will always be given. Voldemort’s reign hasn’t yet spread to the South in the degree the North is affected; therefore, it is highly unlikely it will be reverted to use in an emergency. I will be in contact about missions shortly.

     “However, we begin work on the potion almost immediately.” He reached into his robes and pulled out a tiny vial, full of what looked like vibrant orange sand. Setting it on the coffee table, he produced three more, filled respectively with what looked like the same material, varying in color; one was a dull, semi-transparent white, another an opaque aqua, and the last a shimmery, nearly transparent blue.

     Remus looked apprehensively at the vials. “What are those for?”

     Albus poured himself a cup of tea, looking entirely at ease.

     “These are different minerals and gemstones--argonite, selenite, aquamarine, and moonstone. They are all associated with the moon in general, and we are simply testing how they react to your, ah, same affiliation. The one with the strongest reaction, we theorize, will aid us the most in the potion.” He added sugar to his drink and took a sip; pursing his lips, he added another spoonful.

      “Do I have to eat them?” Remus asked. His stomach clenched with unease, still not entirely recovered from his binge drinking the night before, though his headache was nearly gone.

     Albus chuckled good-naturedly. “No, I just need you to hold them in your bare palm.”

     He picked up the first vial, and waited for Remus to offer his hand. Obligingly, he stretched it out and opened up. He poured the orange powder carefully onto the skin, making certain it was evenly distributed. “If you feel anything at all, I would like to know.”

     Remus nodded. He was nervous, though he wasn’t expected to do anything. It was as if he were back at school, dreading an upcoming test.

     The powder sat innocently on his hand. It felt gritty and although practically weightless, it seemed to be pulling his hand down to the ground.

     Albus withdrew his wand and pointed the tip toward it. “ _Specialis Revelio.”_

     Nothing happened. Remus sighed, both disappointed and relieved.

    “No matter. I expected that wouldn’t work, but he insisted,” he muttered. He continued to mutter no less than seven various spells. Remus knew only two of them, and couldn’t follow the meaning of most others. “ _Virtutem Lunae_ ,” he tried. A slight tingling sensation spread up Remus’ arm and into his fingers, radiating from the powder.

    “There! It got warm,” he said quickly.

    Albus promptly pressed a finger to the sand. A small, satisfied smile graced his lips. “Hmm. That is flattering. Let’s move on. Please replace the powder as well as you can back into its container.”

    Remus tried, but most of it went onto the rug. Albus waved his wand, and the particles neatly flew into the vial.

    “Why couldn’t you have done that from my hand?” Remus asked, slightly ashamed.

    “I would like to have as much of it unaffected by magic as possible,” he said simply. “We need to do more tests back at our lab.”

    “Ah. I’m sorry, sir. I did my best.”

    “I know. Now, for the next one.”

    Albus said the same spells in the same order for each of the rocks, but consistently, it took the last one to be said for it to warm up. The last one, the almost clear blue powder, actually warmed so much that it burnt him. Reacting instinctively, Remus flipped his hand and scattered it onto the rug. His hand was red, already forming tiny blisters.

    “I apologize,” Albus said as he again put the sand back magically. “ _Episkey_.”

    Before his eyes, the skin healed as if set in fast-forward, bubbling then decreasing in redness and finally peeling to reveal brand-new, slightly pink skin.

    “Well, I think that is enough to be getting along with for now. Would you be willing to come to London later this week--say, Thursday?--to do a few more tests before the next full moon?”

    Remus nodded silently. “As long as you’re there to set everything straight.”

    Albus laughed. “I assure you I will be. I am quite invested in this potion, myself.”

    “I will see you then. I’m assuming I should Apparate to the location?”

    “I’ll actually have you use Floo powder; I’m fully confident in your ability to Apparate, but I’m sure you won’t want to expel unnecessary energy. Just ask for Damocles Belby’s house. You’ll get there. I will see you at three ‘o’clock on Thursday, if that is agreeable?”

    Remus nodded.

    “Here is your first payment, then. I greatly appreciate your help with this project.” Albus deposited a sizeable velvet bag onto the coffee table, stowing away the vials in the same, fluid movement. “Which reminds me--I have a couple of contacts in the area, if you need any help finding jobs. I would recommend working with Muggles, Remus; they are less likely to grow suspicious of your condition, and converting their currency to ours is simple enough. We will, however, pay you like a full-time job until the potion is completed so that you can have your entire focus upon that. Thank you again for your time and your hospitality.” He drained his cup of tea.

    “I will discuss Order matters of business on Thursday as well. Sirius, in the meantime, I want you two to become friendly with any of the Wizarding families in the area that are willing. Here is a list--” he flicked his wand, and a short piece of parchment appeared on the coffee table “--of your neighbors. Don’t push them at all; you do not want to appear suspicious. Don’t mention any contact with me, besides your years at school. I will see you two again soon.”

    He strode to the fireplace, and took a pinch of the green powder sitting beside it.

    “Hogwarts,” he said confidently, and stepped into the emerald flames. With one last cheery wave, he disappeared.

    Silence filled the space between Remus and Sirius. Remus avoided his gaze, pretending to stare thoughtfully at the place Albus had vanished.

    “Moony.” Sirius moved from the armchair to stand next to him. “I just wanted to say--”

    And Remus stood up swiftly, pulling Sirius up to him, and planted a kiss firmly onto his lips. Sirius stood, shocked, arms at his side. For a good three seconds, he was stock-still and Remus went to draw away, feeling as though a rock had ledged itself in his stomach. Then Sirius’ fingers were tangling in his hair, bringing his lips back to his and crushing them against each other, gripping his head so tightly he couldn’t have moved if he wanted to.

    “Sirius,” he moaned slightly. “I want you so badly.”

    He looked up at him, relaxing his arm slightly to allow space between them, eyes wide, lips slightly parted. “Where did this come from?”

    Remus sighed. “It’s always been there. I’ve known since third year, Padfoot.”

    “Me, too.”

    Happiness such as he’d never known before spread through him, burning hotter than Albus’ rocks. Pain didn’t accompany this heat, though--longing, however, radiated from him. He tilted his head to kiss Sirius again.

    “What do you say we go share that bed?”

    “I thought you’d never ask.”

    Sirius released all but his hand and pulled him with a fevor Remus had never seen toward the master bedroom.

    “Padfoot, I’ve...I’ve never done this before,” he said hesitantly.

    Sirius hesitated for half of a second. “Alright then, you top.”

    “Are you sure?” Remus asked. “I’ve always sort of...well, I’ve always fancied myself a bottom.”

    “Lucky for you, I switch. I want your first time to not be painful.”

    “Will it hurt you?” Remus paused at the doorway while Sirius went straight for the bathroom, fishing in the cabinets and returning with lube and condoms.

    “I’ve done it before. Please. I’ve been waiting for this for years.”

    Remus crossed the room to him. “Show me what to do.”

    Sirius pulled him onto the bed, pushing his hips down and swinging a leg over the top of him to straddle. “Take off your pants.”

    Hastily obeying, he undid his belt. He hesitated at his boxers. Noticing this, Sirius pulled his own shirt off. He paused for a second, enjoying the way Remus raked his eyes over the perfect abs, following his V-line to the band of his pants, biting his lip and looking into Sirius’ eyes. Sirius leaned forward and kissed the tip of his nose.

    “Can I take off your shirt?”

    Remus nodded and leaned forward, allowing Sirius to pull the fabric up over his head. His stomach was soft, white and slender. Sirius stared at him. Remus self-consciously balled his shirt over his bellybutton and the surrounding area.

    “You’re unrighteously sexy,” he growled. Remus flushed.

    “I don’t have anything on you,” he mumbled.

    “God, you have _everything_. I like a little bit of tummy. And, like I’ve told you, I like blondes.” He winked, and leaned in for another kiss. Remus returned it.

    “Okay, don’t move until I tell you to.”

    Sirius undressed completely, pushing his clothes aside. He leaned down, kissing Remus’ forehead and moving down to his nose, his lips, trailing kisses down his neck, pausing at his nipples and teasing them slightly with his tongue. Remus groaned and pushed his head down.

    “So sensitive,” he teased, biting one carefully. Remus gasped, closing his eyes. His boxers bulged, a testament to what Sirius was doing to him.

    Sirius looked at him, flushed and mouth open, his hips pressing up against Sirius’ hand. He rubbed the tip of Remus’ length slightly, earning himself another moan. He pressed his lips against his skin again, licking and sucking the skin of his stomach, moving steadily downward.

    He bit the band of his boxers between his teeth and attempted to pull them off. He lost his grip and they snapped against his skin. Remus’ penis moved by itself, growing even larger. “Oh, you like pain?” Sirius teased. “It’s a good thing I can’t get these off like I want to.”

    He tapped his hips with his hand; Remus lifted them off the bed and allowed Sirius to pull them off. He brought his lips to his already-wet tip, and pushed his head down around the shaft.

    “Sirius,” Remus said urgently. “Sirius, s-stop.”

   “What is it?” he asked, teasing him with his hands.

    “I...I’m not sure,” he said hesitantly. “I’m not sure if I want to.”

   Sirius huffed, but rolled off of him.

    “I mean, I know I want to, but...I’m so nervous, what if I’m not good, what if I...can you become a werewolf by having sex with me?”

    “Is that what you’re worried about? Trust me, _I’ve_ done extensive research on the subject. I couldn’t find any reports of that anywhere. To be fair, there isn’t much about it, but it doesn’t look like it. You have to bite me in wolf form for that to happen. Feel free to bite me during this, though.” He paused, looking over at him. “That is, if you want to.”

    “Are you sure? It’s not worth it if you’ll become a werewolf.”

    “I’m sure. I’m already halfway there, anyway.”

    Remus tilted his head, considering. “We’ll use a condom?”

    “Yes.”

    He took a deep breath, readying himself. “Alright. If you want to.”

    “I want nothing more, Remus.”

    In a second, he was on him again, mouth pressing against the hard shaft, yielding and allowing the soft, wet skin to envelop it. Remus gasped again, then moaned loudly. He gave an embarrassed giggle, then another moan as Sirius began moving up and down on it. Sirius picked up speed, getting used to the pace. He used his hand, playing with his testicles and occasionally stopped to give them a good suck, as well. Remus jerked, and came all over Sirius’ hand.

    “I’m so sorry,” he instantly said, red-faced. “That was just...oh, Merlin.”

    “Can I try to loosen you up?”

    “What?”

    Sirius grabbed Remus’ hand and gripped his cock with it, moving with him. He groaned and leaned back.

    “Maybe next time. Just keep doing that.”

    Remus kept moving, hesitantly at first, but then started to get into it. “Here,” he said, and pulled Sirius onto him, so he was laying with his back on Remus’ chest. He kept up a more natural pace that way, and it didn’t take long for Sirius to come onto his own chest, pumping and covering Remus’ hand. He jerked a little bit, then let out a sigh.

    “Bloody hell, that was better than any of my fantasies.”

    Remus laughed. “I can’t believe we just did that.”

    Sirius flipped around, grabbing a throw blanket and cleaning himself up. He wiped Remus down as well, and then laid on top of Remus, his head buried in the small of his neck. “I can’t believe I finally got to. I’ve had a crush on you for so long.”

     “Same here. I never thought you’d want me.”

     “Moony.” He planted a kiss on his earlobe, earning another small moan. “There is nobody I want more.”

      Remus smiled and wrapped his arms around Sirius. “Next time, we can actually use that lube.”

     "...So, does this mean I can sleep in here from now on? Your bed looks much more comfortable than that other one."

     "I would insist on it," Remus grinned. He kissed his forehead, reveling in the fact that Sirius,  _Sirius_ , had been the person he'd lost his virginity to. He knew it probably technically didn't count, but that didn't matter. He counted it, and he hoped Sirius felt the same.

     They fell asleep on top of the blankets with the lights on. They were both heavy sleepers; therefore, they didn’t hear the _crack!_ of an Apparation, didn’t hear the slight creaking of the floorboards as somebody walked from room to room, trying to find them.

     They didn’t hear the gasp from the doorway, and didn’t notice as James turned off the light and shut the door behind them.

     “What, did you find them?” A disgruntled Lily sat on the futon, arms crossed. Her left hand had a sparkling diamond resting on the fourth finger of her left hand.

     “They’re...preoccupied. We should come back tomorrow. Announced, probably,” he said. “C’mon, let’s go, luv.”

     There was another loud _crack!_ as they both Disapperated. Lily couldn’t figure out for the life of her what James’ grin was about, or his disarmed demeanor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed it! I apologize, I'm not great at writing smut. I thought it would be unrealistic for Remus to be confident, lol. That, coupled with my own awkwardness, makes for a rough session. I will attempt to be better for later chapters. I work a lot this week, but I will try very hard to have another chapter for you next Monday; it might be Tuesday instead. Thank you so much for taking time to read this! EDIT: I'm so sorry I haven't updated yet! I sat for a six hour tattoo on Sunday and I was way too tired to write. This next chapter will be kind of long, so I might split it up and give you two updates later this week, then it will continue as planned on every Monday. Thank you so much for your patience! I'm so sorry again! This week has just been so busy, lol.


	5. A Dinner With Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus and Sirius wake up next to each other. Lily, James, and Peter come over for dinner; exciting news awaits both groups.

    Remus stretched, still half-asleep. His arms hit a warm body, and his eyes snapped open.

    Sirius, dead asleep with his arms up over his head, was on his stomach naked next to him. His face was turned toward him, presumably to breathe; Remus did not envy the cramp his neck would inevitably suffer.

     _Holy shit_ , Remus thought. He brought his hands up to his eyes and rubbed them hard. Slowly, he opened them again; Sirius was still there. _Holy_ shit!

Eyes wide, he took in his sleeping form, a body he’d memorized through shirts and robes. To see it like this, in all of its glory, was...everything he’d ever wanted. Thick muscles rippled through his abdomen, his arms were ropy and strong, and his legs...God, his legs. Remus admired the V shape of his hips.

     He noticed a small tattoo tucked away, just barely visible with his leg bent as it was. It looked like a crescent moon; his body was covered with ink, so this did not necessarily stand out--however, Sirius had always been showing off each new tattoo he got, either the work of an ameteur student or, once he had turned seventeen last November, a professional artist. Remus had never seen this one, but figured it was because of the sensitive placement.

    Sirius stirred slightly, reminding Remus of the impossibility of the situation. _There’s no bloody way this is real._

     _Maybe I should pinch myself?_ Deciding this was, in fact, a good idea, he firmly grasped some skin on his forearm. It definitely hurt, so he assumed that he was awake.

    “Yeah, most people react that way when they wake up next to me.” Sirius smirked up sleepily at him.

    Remus looked over, surprised. “I thought you were asleep!”

    He blinked his bleary eyes at him and smiled softly, still lying in the same position. “I woke up when you started moving. You’re so cute; I can’t believe you actually pinched yourself.”

    “Believe it or not, this has happened before. I’ve always woken up from it, though.”

    Sirius grinned. “I hope I never wake up if this is a dream.” He inhaled loudly and sat up, stretching and popping his back. “I’ve waited so long for this.” His silvery eyes raking over Remus’ naked body: his tawny hair tousled from sleep and his wide, disbelieving eyes. Sirius reached over and poked him playfully. “Are you holding your breath?”

    Remus shook his head, but realized he was, in fact, not breathing. He took a shaky breath. All night, the dark-haired witch had haunted him; he’d decided that he needed to tell Sirius what had happened. He was sure, after all, that he would do the same for him. And was that not a part of being best mates ( _well, hopefully we’re a bit past friendship at this point_ , he thought wryly)? Telling each other everything, good and bad?

    “...better over easy, but I think that you’re being pretentious and there’s nothing wrong with scrambled...what’s up, mate?”

    Remus internally flinched at the word. _Is he friendzoning me right now?_

Deciding he could worry about their relationship status later, he took another deep, steadying breath. “I need to tell you something. You know that dark-haired woman? The one who wouldn’t let you stop drinking the other night?”

    “Yeah. Right witch, that one.” Sirius grinned winningly at him.

    He smiled obligingly, but it was fleeting and barely graced his mouth. “She did that on purpose, I’m pretty sure. I...ah, walked in on you having...intercourse.”

    “God, Remus, what is this? Catholic school? Ireland? You walked in on us having sex, then?”

    “Yeah. Sex. Happy?”

    “Not particularly. How did it happen?” His tone was light, but his eyebrows were furrowed and his eyes grew dark.

     Remus sighed. He absentmindedly took Sirius’ hand in his own and started tracing small patterns into it with his thumb. “Well, you two actually barged in on me in the bathtub. Dressed,” he added as Sirius raised his eyebrow, “but in hell. I’m not so sure that alcohol mixes well with my, er, blood. And either way, I had a lot. It was cold in there, and it felt good…. Anyway, she probably got you drunk and lured you away from the party. I’m pretty sure I saw Henassay on the counter, and we all know what that does to people. She was...er,  encouraging you, and then you took up her skirt and--” Remus found himself unable to continue.

     Sirius turned his hand around to hold Remus’. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t interested in her, I promise.”

     His horror-struck expression from the night came into Remus’ mind’s eye. “I believe you. You apologized to me and told me--”

     He stopped and flushed. This did not seem an appropriate time to tell Sirius he’d confessed his love. No, Remus wanted to hear it for real, not as an excuse, and preferably sober.

     “Told you what?” Sirius’ voice was lighter, persuasive and yet comforting.

_This is a dangerous man._

     “You told me you’d had a crush on me for awhile. Since the day we met, I believe were your words.” The corner of his lips turned upwards. “It was nice to hear, even though I was pretty upset.”

    “Well, I have.” Sirius smiled back and brought his hand to his lips. “How could I not? A young fellow in distress, so trusting and wholesome and smart. It was the best moment of my life so far. That, and I’m not sure I could have passed any classes without your help.”

    “You’re smart. You just don’t apply yourself.” Remus cuddled up beside him, curling so that they were spooning. Sirius was the big spoon; his feet hardly reached his calves.

     “Yeah, well. What did you think of me when we met?”

     “Honestly, I didn’t know I had a crush on you until third year. I mean, obviously I’d liked you before then, but…. I blocked it. Sirius, I just want you to know I don’t...feel right with this. Of course I want to be with you, but….” He curled even further in on himself, so that only his bare backside was touching Sirius. “I’m a werewolf. If that gets out, and word about us gets out...you’re ruined.”

     Sirius snorted. “I’m a blood traitor. And besides, anybody who cares about that doesn’t matter to me. We’re in the Order now; those people are the enemy.”

     “Many good wizards don’t like werewolves. It’s not unfair. They’re afraid of us.”

     “Don’t attribute ignorance to fear. If they took two seconds--”

       “It’s not ignorance; it’s knowledge. I don’t blame them for it. I mean, look at me. I was four when I was bitten. We aren’t safe creatures to be around. Not unless you’re an illegal Animagus, that is.”

       Sirius grabbed him, pulling him closer until he was practically lying on top of him. “Well, then it’s a damn good thing I am. I don’t care what anybody else knows, or thinks they know. I want to be with you. I want you to be my boyfriend.”

       Remus’ stomach lurched. So long he’d been waiting to hear those words. So long that they didn’t feel real. But he could feel Sirius’ arms around him; the warmth and comfort of another body he’d never known before, and the safety and love he felt with his friends times a thousand.

       “So? What do you say?”

       In answer, he turned his neck and kissed him fiercely. Sirius returned the kiss with a similar fervor.

      “Go get showered. I’ll make us breakfast.”

     They both got up. Sirius pulled on a pair of dark jeans and Remus grabbed a towel; they kissed again as each left the room through different doors. Remus heard pots clanging together as he struggled with the faucets; it seemed every shower was another riddle to solve, no matter how similar the design was to others. He finally got the water running and stepped in, rinsing dried semen and sweat from his body as quickly as he could. There were several bottles in the shower, soaps and shampoos as if a witch lived here. He wasn’t familiar with most of them, having only used a basic shampoo and body soap his entire life. He opened the different bottles of the so-called shower gel, agonizing away from the spray of water which one Sirius would like the best. He decided on a musky yet light scent and hoped Sirius wouldn’t notice too much the pains he had taken to smell so.

      He toweled off and dressed quickly. He forewent a shirt, choosing instead to only pull on boxers and a pair of tighter khaki jeans. He pulled on socks as well, worried suddenly about how his feet looked. _Not that there’s anything wrong with them_ , he thought. _Just that I don’t want Sirius to think they’re ugly._

      He opened the door, and immediately an awful stench reached his nose. It was so bad, he wondered how his canine senses hadn’t detected it before, even through the steam of the shower.

     He followed the billowing black smoke to its source: the kitchen. Sirius was barely visible through the thick cloud, desperately holding a pan beneath the sink.

     “What are you doing?” Remus demanded. “We just got this house! Don’t burn it down!”

     “I was trying to be a cute boyfriend and make you breakfast! Our house-elf did all of the cooking, unfortunately, so I never actually learned how to.” He coughed deeply.

    “Here, put that in the sink and help me open up windows.”

    “I’ve already done that!”

    A roar of laughter sprang from Remus’ chest, deep and throaty. “You’re bloody impossible, Pads! Let’s throw open the doors, as well.”

    In a few minutes, the smoke had faded enough to see clearly again, though it was still a bit hazy. He tsked, but was smiling. “I suppose I’ll be the chef.”

    At that moment, a knock on the door was heard.

    Remus moved as if to go answer, but Sirius stopped him with a warm, big hand on the chest. “You stay here and salvage our breakfast. I’ll grab that.”

    “Whatever you say,” Remus grinned. He resumed scrubbing the pan vigorously in an attempt to cleanse it of the black filth.

    But moments later, Sirius came rushing back in with a smiling James in tow. “Mate! Guess what he did!”

    Remus looked at Lily, who had entered sheepishly behind them with Peter in tow. She gave him a huge grin and held up her left hand, where a thin silver band set with small diamonds rested.

    “No way!” Remus crossed the room and pulled them both into a huge hug. “And you actually told him yes?”

    “Whatever, Moony,” James said, but he laughed nonetheless.

    “Do you have a date set?” Sirius asked, his eyes shining. He met Remus’ eye and winked. James followed this exchange and smiled to himself.

    “We’re not quite sure.” Lily smiled and wrapped her arm around James’ hip. “We’re thinking sometime next summer. It’ll have to be a quiet little thing, just close friends and family only.”

    “Yeah, so you two actually aren’t invited.” James grinned at them.

    “Oh, deer,” Sirius joked. “How did I not see this coming?”

    Remus crossed his arms, a small line forming between his eyebrows. Lily crossed the room, disentangling herself from James, to bump her hip against Remus’. “What’s up, dog?”

    He graced the pun with an eyeroll. “Fur the love of god, not this again.”

    “Ah, see, I knew Moony wasn’t in too bark of a mood. You’re thinking something, and we” --she glanced behind her to where James stood-- “trust you. What did we do wrong?”

    “Nothing! I’m very happy for you two!” Remus considered for a slight second, tilting his head slightly. “But...why wait? A year engagement is quite awhile, isn’t it? I mean, why not this fall?”

    Sirius gasped dramatically. “He just wants to have the leaves match Lily’s hair! You sly dog.”

    “It would be a lot prettier of a wedding,” Remus said sheepishly. “That is not the main reason, though. I just don’t see the point in waiting, where you two were so obviously made for each other.”

    “We’ll talk about it,” Lily said, cutting off James as he opened his mouth.

    “...Yeah. Anyway, what news do you have?” he said instead. Remus wasn’t sure if he imagined the inflection in his voice or not. Instantly, his eyes danced to Sirius, who was looking at him with an expression akin to smugness.

    He waited for Sirius to speak, to take the leash, but he remained resolutely silent.

    “Well, Dumbledore has been over,” he said hesitantly.

    Peter looked up sharply at this. “What?” he squeaked. “Here?”

    “Yes,” Sirius said, giving him an odd look. “This is actually wonderful news; he and an associate of his have been working on a potion to help Moony with his affliction.”

     “Oh, mate, that’s wonderful!” James looked both surprised and thrilled for his friend. “Your furry little problem won’t even be a problem!” He considered for a second. “Although, I’m not sure if becoming an Animagus has a return policy. We’ll have to look into it.”

     “He still transforms,” Sirius inserted quickly. “He just has his head. I’m hoping it will also do something for the pain of transformation?”

     “Me too,” Remus agreed.

     “How was it to have Dumbledore over?” Peter’s eyes were wide; astonished, as always, by the breadth of his friends’ influences.

     “Weird, honestly. The man puts so much sugar into his tea.”

     Lily laughed loudly. “Honestly! That’s what you noticed!”

     Sirius shrugged. “He poured rocks into Remus’ hand and said spells over them. It was alright, but by the fourth handful, I was bored. I noticed our sugar bowl was much lower than I’d left it.”

     “Why was he putting rocks into your hand?” Peter asked Remus.

     “I’m still not entirely sure. They were stones connected to the moon, somehow. Some of them burned me, and he seemed pleased with that.”

     “Not a man alive could understand Dumbledore’s mind,” James said feverently.

     “Perhaps a woman could,” Lily interjected slyly.

     “Oh, quit it.” James nudged his fiance’s hip playfully. “The man is in a league of his own.”

     Remus, always uncomfortable with the ever-present tension of his being, said, “We’ve just started dinner. We missed breakfast, I’m afraid.”

     “What, late night?” James asked innocently. Sirius and Remus looked round at him, each narrowing their eyes.

     “What?”

     “You’re all welcome to stay for it.” Sirius glanced pointedly at the sitting room. “Moony and Wormtail can make it--they’re undoubtedly the best cooks here.”

     Peter looked pleased with the praise. A shadow of emotion crossed his face; Remus glanced at him questioningly, but he shook his head minutely.

     “Oh, and Moony and I are dating,” Sirius said casually.

    James looked shocked; Peter gasped audibly.

    Lily laughed aloud. “Pay up, Potter!”

     James rolled his eyes. “We’ll be sharing funds soon enough!”

    “Not yet, though. That’s a Galleon! How did you know? Is this why you tried to change your time frame?”

    “You bet on if we were dating?” Remus cried. “What great friends you are!”

    “We didn’t bet on if you were dating, we bet on when you’d start up.” Lily grinned triumphantly. “I said it’d be within a month of graduating.”

    “It’s very nearly been--”

    “It’s been three weeks! Don’t start with me, Prongs!”

    Remus shook his head. “Well, at least you’ve had faith in us.”

    “Since fifth year, mate.” James grinned. “Although, we’ve only had the bet since seventh.”

    “You never shut up about him,” Lily said apologetically. “Even when we were in the library, fifth year, before I could tolerate the rest of you lot.”

     Sirius let out a barking laugh. “Guess I wasn’t as subtle as I thought.”

     This earned an exasperated groan from James and Peter.

     “Well, Wormtail, let’s start the food.” Remus sauntered towards the kitchen, a certain spring in his step that wasn’t there before. Sirius watched him leave; Peter followed Remus, and Sirius directed James and Lily onto their couches.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOW I AM SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG TO UPDATE. My boyfriend was kicked out, so we were house searching, then moving, then I got wrapped up looking into going back to school. I sincerely apologize and will do my best to do better! There is much more to come, I promise! (And, as always, thank you so much for reading and having the patience to deal with me, lol.)

**Author's Note:**

> Again, thank you so much for reading this! I'll attempt to update it often. (This is Part One of a three-part series. This takes place in 1978, after they graduate. Every year will be one part of the series.)


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